​Wedding Thank You Notes Etiquette

​Wedding Thank You Notes Etiquette

Posted by Cindy Rudman on Dec 20th 2021

Engagement season is on the horizon, so as couples get engaged and start thinking about all elements of their wedding, we thought we would answer questions to frequently asked questions about etiquette surrounding wedding thank you notes.

 Prior to getting married, you should only write thank you notes on stationery that either has the bride's first name, full name or monogram. Be sure to write the thank you note on cards with your maiden name on it. Stationery with your married name should not be used until after the wedding.

For example:


Jennifer Lynn Porter


Alternatively, stationery with only the bride's and groom's first names may be used prior to the wedding. Many couples choose this option because it enables them to use the stationery for all occasions: their showers, their wedding and beyond.

For example:

Jennifer and John

Couples Stationery

Following the wedding, stationery with the bride and groom's shared last name may be used.

For example:

Jennifer and John Smith

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

The Smiths

If the bride plans to keep her maiden name after she is married, she might consider using it on her wedding stationery as a signal to everyone how she plans to be addressed after the wedding.

For example:

Jennifer Porter and John Smith

No matter what style a couple selects, the most important part is that the notes are written and sent. A little anecdote for your amusement. A friend's mom refused to invite any of her friends to her daughter's baby shower since the daughter never thanked those friends for gifts she received for her wedding. My friend's sister did not seem to care, but it did put her mom in an uncomfortable position as her friends were not certain if the daughter had received their gift for her wedding without getting that acknowledgment. Gratitude and politeness go a long way!